Do you ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? Like, the weather decides it wants a monsoon, or you get all teary-eyed and sad listening to the sappy radio station that you can't turn off even though you know it's better if you do? I think it all has to do with self-control, which I seem to be lacking in. I don't know... Do you ever hear voices of people in your head? People who hurt you in the past, and even though they're out of your life, they still hurt you? Like, just the thought of them or the sound of someone whose voice is similar to theirs hurts and makes you want to cry? Perhaps it's because of the dreary day and all the stress? hehe.. just something to muse about - the causes of the "blues"

Encouraging news..... According to Prof. Lubinsky, when I win my Nobel Peace Prize in Quantum Physics, it'll be because I learned my eigenvalues and eigenvectors well... Too bad I don't understand what he's talking about. Perhaps he was referring to the rest of the class? hehe.. Anyways, I think that was the most amusing comment I heard yesterday... Sheeshh, I'm such a dork... hehe

Of late, it seems to me that I've made far too many mistakes this past few years. I think the mistakes I've made, well, I don't think they can be corrected. I am wondering if perhaps I should give up on trying to correct them and just move on. I'll remember the lessons that I've learned and apply them to new experiences that arise, of course. I don't know. Is that taking the easy way out, or is that the logical action to take? I think all I really have to say for myself is: "I don't know."

hmmm... nothing to say really... It was a dramatic day for me, but the stress was alleviated with the aid of John, Davis, and Vincent. John and Davis are fabulous friends =D Thanks for everything, John and Davis. I'll feed you gal-bee some day, I promise. hehe.... Vincent is, as always, perfect. A beautiful friend till the very end, and then some more. Thank you *hugs*

A bit busy lately with school... In the meantime, here's an excellent link: http://www.stuff.to/include.php?include=/talyr/album_le.txt.
All I can say is that Tori Amos is amazing =D

Something to think about... Life isn't fair... but many people yearn for love. It's a strange phenomenon, I think. Not all find love, and few find everlasting love. The question is: Is it foolish to believe that you're destined to love and be loved? I don't believe in destiny, but I do believe that some are born fortunate, others not so fortunate. I think that a lot has to do with the environment in which you grew up. I've come to the theory that some are meant to live solitary lives, interacting with others only through family and social functions, but never on a personal, romantic level. Perhaps it's folly to long for and seek love, for people like us who aren't supposed to be in relationships. It seems that it's a neverending struggle. Sure, worthy goals must be worked for, but what if it's futile and you know it's futile? What then? Do you say goodbye? Or do you continue in your struggle to achieve that dream? It's not just love that I talk about, but anything and everything that people desire, such as fame, wealth, knowledge, and so on. Once the dreams are achieved, what then? Do you find something eles to yearn for, or do you merely gloat and feel self-satisfied with your accomplishment? Some say that yearning for dreams is a virtue of man, but is it really? Does it perhaps merely mean that man is a foolish creature, almost narcisstic, if you will. Man has achieved much, but to what does it all bring us to? And what is all this about saving lives, that everyone deserves to live. I believe that no one should take away another person's life, but does that mean that everyone should live, whether or not he or she deserves to? It seems that man has escaped the rat race called survival of the fittest, but does that mean that we're better? Or does that just mean that we're a more flawed species? I don't think we should run a breeding program or anything like that. I just question why we seek to have all live? Some people are vegetables and aren't really living, yet we force them to live, whether that be through medicine or life support. Do you think that perhaps it's merely - "Hey, look at me, I can control life and death, thereby controlling my fellow person!" There's a fine line between being humane and being cruel, I think. I really don't know where that line is, I just wonder about it.

Not too much has been happening lately. It seems that school rules my life, or better yet, Tech, otherwise known as the h**hole *sigh* I think I've been playing too much lately. I've been studying a lot, but I've also been goofing off. I've come to the conclusion that I need to submerge myself in my schoolwork, whether or not I like it. I really hope that college years aren't the best years of my life, because if they are, then I might as well jump off a bridge now... Speaking of lighter things now.... I've learned my freshman year in college that it can actually be a good thing to have girl friends, especially when those girls are Judy and Mindy =D They're fabulous girls. This summer, my friends have been keeping my sanity. Jimmy, Brandon, Arun, Judy, Mindy, and the list goes on =) Such a lovely thing to have friends, isn't it? ... Something I've pondered occassionally... Does true love really exist? I don't understand why people believe in true love. Perhaps I'm too young to understand it, or perhaps it's because I'm too cynical/skeptical. In fact, I even wonder about the concept of love. Do you think that maybe love is only a fleeting feeling, perhaps something akin to a drug-induced high? I believe that people love, but is love everlasting? Or does it come to you and eventually turn into friendship? Love seems to make people inefficient creatures, especially myself. Just imagine what we could accomplish if we didn't fall in love... But then again, one can argue that love must exist in order for people to appreciate the world's beauty and whatnot. It seems to me that love is something that comes along naturally, but that it's not the best thing in the world. Emotions are definitely illogical. oh well. One can't really do much about how oneself feels. Might as well live with it... Homo sapiens are definitely strange creatures... hehe.. hence the saying about... maybe the aliens haven't visited us because they're too smart to...

An artist I'm currently listening to: Toby Keith

"You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This"
I've got a funny feeling
The moment that your lips touched mine
Something shot right through me
My heart skipped a beat in time
There's a different feel about you tonight
It's got me thinking lots of crazy things
I think I even saw a flash of light
It felt like electricity
Chorus:
You shouldn't kiss me like this unless you mean it like that
Cause I'll just close my eyes and I won't know where I'm at
We'll get lost on this dance floor spinning around
And around and around and around
They're all watching us now they think we're falling in love
They'd never believe we're just friends
When you kiss me like this I think you mean it like that
If you do baby kiss me again
Everybody swears we'd make a perfect pair
But dancing is as far as it goes
Girl you've never moved me quite the way you moved me tonight
I just wanted you to know
I just wanted you to know

"We were in Love"

If I could invent a time machine, then maybe
We'd both be seventeen

Crusing in my first car, neckin like movie stars on a
Friday night
Do you remember those Friday nights?

We were a rock, ready to roll, there was a fire down in our souls
And all the whole world had to stand still, then turn around us
'Cause that was the deal
And oh how those nights went flowing like wine,
When I was all yours and you were all mine
And we were in love, yeah we were in love

I can still see you when I sleep, there is a picture I still keep
You with your hair in the wind and me with that crazy grin
Under summer skies when dreams where too young to die

We were a rock, ready to roll, there was a fire down in our souls
And all the whole world had to stand still, then turn around us
'Cause that was the deal
And oh how those nights went flowing like wine,
When I was all yours and you were all mine
And we were in love, yeah we were in love

Oh I know, I know it sounds crazy but baby your still the one
So let's find a way to bring back the days that our hearts were forever young


We were a rock, ready to roll, there was a fire down in our souls
And all the whole world had to stand still, then turn around us
'Cause that was the deal
And oh how those nights went flowing like wine,
When I was all yours and you were all mine
And we were in love, yeah we were in love, yeah we were in love

Finally found the lyrics and translation to Kiss - Because I'm a Girl... (I found it on http://kissofangels.cjb.net)...
because i'm a girl
by kiss

doh deh cheh al soo gah ob soh namja deul eh ma eum
won hal dohn on jeh go dah joo nee eee jeh Ddoh nahn deh

ee ron jok cho eum Eee rah go noh neun teuk byul ha dah neun
keu mahl eul mee doh soh neh ghen hang bokee yuh soh

chorus
mahl eul ha jee geu reh ssoh neh gah shi roh joht dah goh
noon chi gah ob neun nahn neul bo chae ghee mahn haessoh
noh reul yolk ha myun soh doh mahnee keu ree Ool goh yah
sarangee chun boo een nah neun yuhja ee nee kah

moh deun gol ship geh dah joo myun kum bahng shil joong neh neun geh
namja rah deu ross soh teul rin mahl kat jin ahn nah

dah shi neun sok ji ahn euh rhee mah eun mok oh boh ji mahn
Ddoh dah shi sarangae moo noh ji neun geh yuhja yah

chorus

narration
Oh neul Ooh reen hae yuh ju suh
boo dee hang bok ha rah go
noh boh dah joh eun sah ram mahn nah gil bah rahn dah go
noh doh dah reun namja rahng ddok kat tae
nahl sarang han dah go mahl han dden on jeh go
sol jik hee na -- nee gah jahl den eun goh shi roh
na bo dah yeh boon yuhja mahn na hang bok ha geh jahl sahl myun oh tok hae
keu roh dah nahl jung mahl eee joh boh rhee myun oh tok hae
nahn Ee rok keh him deun deh -- him deul roh jook ket neun deh
ah jik doh nohl noh moo sarang ha neun deh

sarang eul we hae soh rah myun moh deun dah hal soo eat neun
yuhja ae chak han bon noong eul lee yong ha jee neun mahl ah joh~

han yuhja roh tae yoh nah sarang bahd go sah neun keh
ee rok keh him deul go oh ryoh Oohl jool mohl lass soh

noh reul yolk ha myun soh doh mahnee keu ree Ool goh yah
sarangee chun boo een nah neun yuhja ee nee kah

noh reul yolk ha myun soh doh mahnee keu ree Ool goh yah
sarangee chun boo een nah neun yuhja ee nee kah

=====

because i'm a girl (translated)
by kiss

i just can't understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you and then they leave you
this is the first time, you're special
i believed those words and i was so happy

chorus
you should have told me you didn't like me any more
but i couldn't see that and you just rushed me
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man, he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again

chorus

narration
we separated today
you said you wanted me to be happy and find a better person than you
you're just like every other man
didn't you tell me you loved me?
actually, i don't want you to be happy
what if you find a girl who's prettier than me and live happily with her?
what it makes you forget me
when im hurting so much, so much i want to die
when i still love you so much...

don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
and her caring instinct
i didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

although i will curse you i'll still miss you
since i am a girl, to whom love is everything

Supposedly, Sir Francis Bacon died from pneunomia he caught while conducting a scientific experiment - forcing chickens to eat snow, wondering if their meat would be preserved better by consuming snow

What if I left you?
Would you remain in the same place I left you standing in?
Would you turn on your heel and leave,
Or would you stay?
If so, what's the reason?
Is it the same record playing over and over in your head
A willingness to remain
Holding a candle of hope I can't see
Or would you stay, weary and bored
So many questions
Yet no clear answers
Only a dim light to see truth by
Perhaps no straightforward reality exists
With only a twisted, hidden path to follow blindly in the twilight
Maybe you'll leave with never a glance back towards from whence you came
Maybe a new beginning will start
A new life, forgetting the old
Maybe it's better this way
Or maybe no
If only answers were to be had
Always sought, but never truly found
That's the riddle we seek answers to
But with no answers to be had